we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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