Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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