the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
