Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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