So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
