Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
