did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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