You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
