i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
