Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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