Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
