Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
