Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
