I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
