it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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