Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
