So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
