i can't believe i had my finger in that
My balls are so social today.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
