Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The power of my boobs compel you
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
