i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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