It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
