i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
