Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
