You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
