two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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