How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
