I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
