He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
