chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
