TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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