She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
