Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
