But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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