I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
