It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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