Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
