haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
