I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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