if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
