i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
