I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
