If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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