Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
