we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We need to get me chipped asap
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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