it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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