Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize