Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Sober January is a disaster.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
