is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
