dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
