I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
