I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
