were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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