I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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