thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
