I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
